


The Beginning Of The End

by lovesrainscent



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, F/M, M/M, Multi, Sex, Sexual Content, Suicidal Thoughts, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-23
Updated: 2012-07-08
Packaged: 2017-11-08 09:15:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/441613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovesrainscent/pseuds/lovesrainscent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Struggling to come to grips with the aftermath of a fateful and fatal decision in Amekegure, Tsunade confronts her own power and the limits of it. For a brief moment the sannin seem to accept the truth of the trinity they were always meant to be, but then it all goes to hell in a handbasket. There's always a little bit of bad in the best of us and a little bit of good in the worst of us. In which Tsunade is a monster, Jiraiya is a jerk and Orochimaru saves a child.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or these characters and do not stand to make any profit from posting this story.
> 
> Warnings: Dark. Themes of death, sex and violence. Inspired heavily by the movie "Apocalypse Now" and the song "The End" by The Doors.
> 
> _Many many thanks to sammyquill for giving me the encouragement to write this._

**The Beginning Of The End**

_Amegekure._

_Shit.  
_

She was still only in Amegekure.

Tsunade stared out the window where the late afternoon sun glinted in between the slats. There was a blessed break in the rain for once. It seemed like a dream but for the first time in days warm golden light puddled on the floor around her feet.

When she'd first stumbled over to the window from her bed she had held out hope that everything about Rain had been nothing but a dream.

A few peals of laughter from the street caught her attention and she looked down to see children actually playing as they splashed through puddles. It was hard to imagine that they could find something to enjoy in the midst of this wasteland. The children were darting in and out of ruined buildings, dodging piles of rubble on the street as they played tag. A couple of passersby crossed at the corner opposite from her room clutching small parcels of food they had managed to acquire through barter or trade.

Life went on it seemed.

For some.

She sighed heavily and turned leaning with her back against the window. As she closed her eyes she blindly reached for the bottle on the table to her right. Her hands closed around the cool of the glass but it was the heat inside that she needed. Tsunade cracked open an eye just long enough to spy the glass near the bottle and pull it over. Tipping the bottle she steadied the glass with one hand and filled it with the amber fire inside.

Picking up the glass she knocked the drink back in a single swallow, wincing as she forced it down. Searing heat hit the back of her throat but it was another warmth that she waited for. As expected it hit her gut and uncoiled through the rest of her body, slow burn spreading to the tips of her fingers. She held the glass under her nose so the scent of it could spike heat up into her brain as well.

The heat came as promised, if only the forgetfulness would come, too.

A kunai lay beside the bottle. She'd used it to cut the seal on the top before she'd opened it. Idly she picked it up, corner of her lip turned up in a smile. Maybe there was a simpler solution to this after all.

The steel was familiar, cold and solid in her hand. It must be one of the first kunai she'd ever bought.

Pressing the tip against her wrist she drew it up her forearm with barely enough pressure to break the skin. A thin line of blood welled up from the wound. Directing her healing chakra to it, she closed it up.

So easy. The words flitted unbidden through her mind. It would be so easy.

Tsunade did it again only this time she didn't intend to break just the skin. She pressed harder, directly along the vein pulling back and letting the blood well up on her wrist. Fat drops hit the floor joining the pool of sunshine.

Attention-seeking little girls cut across their wrists she thought wryly. Tsunade knew well enough that someone who really wanted to end it sliced along the vein, opening it up its length.

Fascinated she watched for a moment then re-healed herself. As expected, it had hardly hurt at all.

She poured herself another drink and followed the same ritual as with the last one. Knock it back fast, eyes closed, swallow hard then wait for the heat to spread.

It did.

Flood of warmth and her head was light. Not enough to forget, for that she'd need to be unconscious. But it helped.

She followed the cut-bleed-heal ritual again, too, then switched to the other arm.

Cut-bleed-heal. Cut-bleed-heal.

For what?

So she could forget?

If she ended it right now, just let herself bleed out then it wouldn't matter anymore because she was the only one who knew what happened. The knowledge could just die right along with her.

Wrists healed but still sore, she looked down at the drops of blood splattered around her.

What a mess.

Then she looked at her room in total disarray, sheets half on the bed, clothes and personal items strewn about. Hell, the blood probably wouldn't even be noticed here, just a little bit more tracked in with mud and muck from earlier.

Rubbing her tender wrists and then pouring herself yet one more drink, Tsunade saw the scrolls unfurled on her desk. With a strangled cry she swept them off the table. Her angry motion jostled the glass in her hand so that she spilled most of it on the floor.

The wrecked room matched her unordered thoughts of the last few days.

They were supposed to be here on a peacekeeping mission, a mission of goodwill, she thought bitterly to herself.

The trip to that remote village was supposed to have been for humanitarian purposes.

Dammit, she was a doctor, not a monster.

Heat from tears filled her eyes now and spilled over to trace warm rivulets down her cheeks. She wondered if they would mingle with her blood and the whiskey on the floor.

Head down, weeping softly she missed the sound of footsteps outside her door only jerking to attention when it was flung open and her teammate Orochimaru sauntered in.

"Miss your shift once, princess, and I'll cover for you. Miss it twice and you'll damn sure tell me why." Even though his tone was sharp there was more annoyance in it than threat. As teammates they had all covered for each other on more than one occasion. He wasn't upset that he'd taken her duty shifts, only that he hadn't been asked ahead of time.

He flopped down on her unkempt bed and propped himself up on an elbow, black hair hanging loosely over one shoulder as he looked at her. His eyes narrowed. "Must be one helluva bender, Tsunade. You look like shit."

Tsunade wiped her face with one palm, pushing her blond hair up out of it and back. "Yeah, and you look edgy, wound tight as a watch-spring. like somebody who got off work early before the whores hit the streets. S'matter? School still in session?"

Unfazed the young man took out a kunai and held it by its handle in one hand with the tip against the forefinger of the opposite hand then twirled it gently. He looked at his reflection in the blade and laughed once then turned his attention to her again. "Ah, ah, ah, Tsunade, you know the schools here in Amegekure are still being rebuilt after the war. One of the reasons we're here now is to help them with their infrastructure, rebuilding roads, schools, hospitals. Remember? The same ones we just got through destroying."

He yawned then continued smirking at her, "Besides, the whores here bore me, the girls and the boys. You'd be surprised at what they'll do for just a little bit of money or food..."

"You're disgusting!" she snapped, still leaning against the window gripping the edge of the sill behind her.

He laughed a little again then pointed his kunai at her. "That may be, but you, princess, are derelict in your duties. And I have covered your pretty little ass for two days now. And I want to know why."

When Tsunade didn't answer he sat up on her bed and leaned forward, taunting her. "I assumed you'd gone off to see him, but I doubt very seriously our beloved Dan-kun would be found in the squalid accommodations I see you've chosen to wallow in these last couple of days." He nodded indicating the room in general. "You call me disgusting?" Tsunade noted that his references to Dan dripped with scorn.

She stared at her toes and simply shook her head for an answer. Puzzled, Orochimaru looked around the room then back at his teammate. Her silence continued which was unusual. Tsunade was very good at their tit-for-tat exchange of barbs, quicker on the uptake and with a more pointed reply than Jiraiya most times. Even drunk, her tongue rarely lost its sting.

The only sound in the room was the thump of the off-balance fan overhead as it vainly circulated humid, sticky air. God, he hated Amegekure. They all did.

Orochimaru turned his attention back to the room and its contents. He spied the scrolls lying on the ground. Rising, he got up from the bed and bent to retrieve them. There were three in total and he recognized the official seals on two. When he straightened out the third he saw his own neat script.

"This is mine," he said softly as he turned to face her. "You took one of my works? Why?"

"I had to know," she whispered.

"Know what?"

"I had to know if you were part of it," voice so soft he had to strain to hear it.

"Part of what?" he demanded.

"Part of the mission, part of the project, their project..." her voice trailed off.

Orochimaru exhaled sharply. "I have no idea what you are talking about. But you've taken something of mine and I think you had better explain yourself to me."

Tsunade swallowed hard and tried to comply. "It started a couple of weeks ago. There was a mission to go upriver and deliver medical supplies to a remote village. It was supposed to be routine..."

When she didn't continue after a few moments of silence, Orochimaru prompted her. "And?"

"I didn't know the two medics who were with me, they were new, just arrived in from Konoha. They were young, eager, seemed to be proud to have my name associated with their mission." She laughed a little but the sound was hollow and vacant, like the look in her eyes. "Made sure I signed off on the exam forms, the vaccination forms, everything."

Orochimaru settled himself in a chair to wait for the rest of her explanation. He thought about having a drink himself and pulled the bottle of liquor over to him then after sniffing it thought better of it.

Tsunade pushed herself away from the wall and crossed her arms over her chest as she paced about the room while continuing. "After the first visit, I knew something was wrong. The vaccinations should be administered in three doses over a specified period. The two medics," this time she sneered the term derisively , "were far less interested in returning for the second dose. At first I thought it was just because it's a pain in the ass to get to the place..."

She looked at Orochimaru directly now with her heart thumping in her chest. If there was anyone she could tell the truth of the matter to it would be this teammate of hers. Dan, Jiraiya, Sarutobi, they would all judge her. But not Orochimaru.

Drawing in breath she went on, "Turns out there was no need to adhere to a schedule since the second dose was nothing but a placebo, saline."

Jesus, Orochimaru thought, from the look in her eyes what she was remembering must be something unfathomable to rattle Tsunade so. Intrigued, he spread out the two scrolls that did not belong to him and compared them. The first specified a fairly routine childhood inoculation program but that masked the nature of the second set of orders. They were to deliberately infect the subjects with a known disease and monitor the progress.

"Why would anyone order something like this?" he asked, bewildered.

"You tell me."

His nostrils flared in anger and he rose from his chair. "You thought I had something to do with this?"

"I know your predilections, they certainly border on questionable from an ethics standpoint..."

"Dammit, Tsunade! It's a known disease! This is repetitive, wasteful! You may consider my ethics questionable but one thing I won't do is waste a research opportunity or a research subject for that matter." He stood towering over her, glaring down at her now.

"I know," she acknowledged, reaching for the bottle again. He caught her wrist and held her there halfway to her goal of the bottle.

"What did you do?" he demanded.

No answer.

"What did you do?" he repeated grimly.

Tsunade jerked her arm out of his grasp and refilled her glass. She held it aloft to him in a mock toast and smiled, crazed glimmer in her eyes. "I killed them."

"The medics?"

She finished the drink and said simply, "All of them."

"All?" he echoed flatly.

"All the ones that were left," she answered in an equally neutral tone. She felt the first chink in the dam inside her start to give way, rage giving over to horror. She'd fought it back for two days now, battling the memories with the liquor for as long as she could. But here, now, to Orochimaru, she could confess.

"It was a...nightmare when we got there. Most of the children were already dead, killed by the village elders to keep the disease from spreading. They were suspicious of us from the beginning. The two medics with me were rounding up people, questioning them. That's when I found the other scroll on the boat. They had their own set of orders, separate from the ones they had shown me first. I checked the stock of the vaccines and realized that despite the labels, the second and third contained nothing but saline."

She looked up at Orochimaru wondering if there would be any reaction but his golden eyes were flat and blank and staring. That's when her dam finally broke, when she realized that he could just stand there and absorb all she'd said.

"I...I couldn't stop myself," she sobbed leaning forward against his chest. Tsunade felt his arms close about her. "I found the two. They'd moved from questioning to killing people. Killing the elders for what they'd done, threatening the parents to find out if any of the children were still alive, away from the village, if anyone outside the village knew. It was worse than any battle... I killed the medics. I killed the elders. And the parents who'd lost children were begging me to kill them too. And...I...did. The whole village, it's nothing but rubble now." She looked up at him, tears running down her cheeks.

Speechless they stood there staring at each other. The only sound in the room was the damnable fan with its off-kilter thumping echoing around in her head. It mirrored her thoughts of the last two days, ceaseless, relentless and yet going nowhere.

"Who ordered it?" Orochimaru's question broke the silence between the two of them.

"I don't know."

"Danzou, probably," the raven haired man mused. "Probably wanted to curry favor with Hanzo directly. If it was a border village and causing Rain trouble, and Danzou rid him of that then..."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Tsunade laughed maniacally at Orochimaru's seeming acceptance of the situation. "I killed those people. What difference does it make who ordered it? I'm a criminal."

"You're no such thing," Orochimaru said with equanimity. "The two shinobi you killed were clearly rogue agents acting against the stated policies of the Land of Fire. They killed most of the villagers, you said so yourself. As for the rest," he shrugged, "you put them out of their misery."

Tsunade screeched, "You monster," as she raised one hand to strike him. Orochimaru easily intercepted the blow, grabbing her wrist again. He always had been faster than her. He caught the second one as a precaution as well.

He had the barb on the tip of his tongue. He was about to say 'at least I didn't just destroy a whole village' in response to her 'monster' comment when something caught his eye that sickened and enraged him more than anything she'd just said to him this evening.

"What the hell is this!" he demanded, jerking both her arms toward him.

"I..."

"What the hell did you do, Tsunade?"

"I killed them," she answered her head swimming, wondering what more he wanted from her.

"This!" his face was livid now, as he pulled her own forearms up, wrists facing her. "What the hell did you do to yourself?"

The chakra flows! Of course! She saw him eyeing the straight, precise path she'd used on both forearms, no accidents from a battle there. He could tell her chakra flows were still weakened from cutting herself earlier this evening. She'd healed the skin but the chakra patterns were disrupted enough that someone with a trained eye like Orochimaru's could tell it as easily as if there had been scar tissue there.

"Isn't it obvious? I was..."

"No!" he uttered cutting her off, dropping her wrists and pacing around the room himself now. "No! You do not get to decide such a thing, princess! I spend half my existence trying to keep you and that toad oaf alive and you do not get to decide on your own that you will end your pitiful little life."

"Careful, Orochimaru," Tsunade snapped back, sounding like her old self, "if anybody heard you they'd almost think you cared..."

"You stupid little bitch!" He whirled to face her. "Don't you know you're the only thing I do care about? You and that idiot teammate of ours? The only ones I wouldn't want to see hurt?"

"Ah, the truth comes out," she began to mock him but he interrupted her.

"The truth? You've never faced the truth in your life. The truth is that you know as well as I do that those villagers don't amount to anything as far as we're concerned. They should have thanked you for deigning to end their miserable existence. The truth is that you've killed a hundred times that many based on a different signature on a different scroll and never lost a moment's sleep over it as long as it was official."

She had seen him in numerous battles before, cold, calculating and precise. She'd seen him irritated, annoyed and aggravated with Jiraiya on plenty of occasions, too. But never had Tsunade seen Orochimaru as purely angry as he was right now.

"And the truth is," Orochimaru was continuing, "that you weren't even able to kill yourself. Were you?"

"I...I...no."

He chuckled low and cold, the sound sending shivers down her spine. "Poor Tsunade-chan, you're as much afraid of dying as you are of living."

Indignation was all she could wrap herself in and she tried, pulling herself up straighter against the wall, wiping her face again with one hand trying to clear cobwebs from her head. "What are you saying?" she demanded through gritted teeth.

"Pathetic! I'm saying you're pathetic. You think you can't live with what you've done but you can't kill yourself either. Pathetic little fool!"

"Shut up!"

He cocked his head to one side like a bird, studying her with cold glittering eyes. Chakra crackled in the air around him. Tsunade channeled her own, both to begin to neutralize the alcohol in her system and to prepare for defense. Was he actually going to strike her?

"The truth is, Tsunade," he whispered his voice was low and lethal this time. "You don't really even live at all. You merely exist. You stay safe."

Orochimaru advanced toward her and she tensed, fists balled at her sides, trembling.

"Look at you," he continued, "You're absolutely terrified. And of what?"

Tense and rigid she stood in front of him, unable to speak, unable to hit him, unable to do anything except listen. She felt frozen. Hypnotized like a bird by a snake while he went on whispering.

"Are you afraid of what's going to happen if your precious little Dan-kun finds out? Or honored Sarutobi-sensei? What will they say? What will they think?"

His body, tall and angular crowded her. With her back against the wall she wanted to flee, to slip past him and head for the door and run away from all this. But she couldn't. Couldn't speak, couldn't move, couldn't push him away, couldn't make him stop. And still he kept talking.

"Or maybe it's Jiraiya, our noble toad sage doing such a noble thing to forsake his village and his team, you and me, to help those orphans? Is it his opinion you value so highly?"

Perceptive, malevolent little wretch that he was he kept telling her the truth about herself. Better than the liquor his voice was its own brand of intoxication. Tsunade closed her eyes and let his words wash over her.

"Surely you're not afraid you'll go to prison, are you? Honorable little Senju heiress?" He chuckled and there was something deliciously wicked and knowing in the sound this time. "That'll never happen and you know it."

And she did.

When she opened her eyes, amber orbs that she'd held fixed on the door now looked up and met his own golden eyes. He was looking down at her, so close his raven hair brushed against her shoulders.

"Or maybe you're just afraid to find out what you're capable of? Are you afraid to find out what you really are?" His question was a challenge.

Tsunade hesitated before replying. Orochimaru was poised perfectly silent near her, watching waiting for her to find the answer she was seeking. She wondered if he could remain motionless like that forever. As she found the truth within herself she was horrified. Her throat constricted and it was actually painful to drag the words forth.

"People have called me a goddess," she whispered recognizing the voice as her own but it sounded dim and far-away, lost in thought. "And for the first time...I felt like it, Orochimaru. Like I could...do...anything. Like nothing could stop me."

She paused then added even softer still, "What kind of monster am I?"

"Gods and monsters," he replied his voice as soft as hers. "I'm not quite sure I've ever understood the difference. But what's important is that we are what we are. We are above the rest of them. Together, you, me, Jiraiya, no one can stand against us. We've proved that here in Amegekure."

"I felt like an avenging goddess," Tsunade continued incredulous at her epiphany, "like I was right...righteous...,"

The uneven beating of the fan echoed in her ears like her thoughts in her head before she heard him speak again. "You give life and death, that's the simplest definition of goddess I've ever heard," he whispered.

"So why do I feel dead now? Numb?" Tsunade stared into his eyes, his face unreadable. She wanted him to speak but he was waiting, waiting for something from her. Another tiny eternity slipped by and there was the ambient noise in the room, the fan, children's voices from the street outside. But like the lowering sun in the sky lengthening the evening shadows it was all closing in on her. Everything in the room felt like it was drawing in, cocooning her in his presence. There was nothing left in the room but the two of them.

"What do you want to feel?" Orochimaru whispered.

Tsunade wasn't sure if the thumping was from the fan or her heart. The two seemed in some kind of strange arrhythmic pattern now, hammering in her ears and her chest. Could he hear it? She wondered, as he continued to study her like some curious specimen he'd found.

The words felt foreign as if they were pulled from her heart, from her lips. But she recognized them as her own. "I want to feel like I did then. I want to feel... alive. I want to feel like I can do...anything."

His hand was at the back of her head, fingers tangling in her blond tresses, pulling her head back forcing her to look up at him. His other hand brushed at the column of her throat. "Do you?" Orochimaru breathed against her like a kiss, his forehead almost touching her own. "Because there's a very great deal of difference in being alive and being safe, Tsunade-chan."

Electricity or chakra? Didn't matter. She felt it from his fingertips as he stroked them down her throat and back up to cup her cheek, smoothing a tear away with his thumb.

Tsunade licked her lips and answered him with a voice that was hoarse but soft at the same time. "Alive, Orochimaru. Make me feel alive."

Waiting. Waiting. Tsunade thought she'd die from the waiting when feather-soft he breathed against her once more and she kissed him.

Licorice-sweet and bitter, she kissed her teammate.


	2. Two

Two

Hesitating at first, his own lips barely brushing against hers, she felt the midnight dark hair curtain around her face as Orochimaru leaned forward deepening his kiss against her.

To say that time stood still would have been imprecise. There was no time. There was nothing but the two of them and the kiss.

Orochimaru pulled back. Tsunade found she was pained by the look in his eyes, almost as if he were afraid he'd break her. Or them.

"Yes," she whispered in answer to his unasked question. Frantic now, she began tugging at the knot of his obi, "Yes!"

Yes, take me now, make me scream, the thoughts tumbled through her head and a sharp little gasp escaped her open lips as he grabbed her hips and jerked her up against him, trapping her hands at his waist between their bodies.

Other than the same bittersweet taste of him, this kiss was nothing like the first one. Hard and demanding like his body crushing hers up against the wall. Trying to wriggle her hands free her fingers stroked across him. She felt the jolt of electricity again between them as he arched at her touch into her hand.

"God, Tsunade," he mumbled and she did it again just to hear the ache in his voice and feel him respond to her touch, just to know the power she had over him now.

Take me now, make me scream, fuck me hard, make me yours. It became a mantra inside her head.

She found her purchase on the knot of his sash again and this time made short work of it, jerking it free in frustration. Tsunade whimpered as his own hands slipped inside her tunic and she felt him tugging it loose, pushing it off her shoulders.

The garment puddled in the floor at her feet and for an insane second she thought of it pooling and dissolving with the tears and the liquor and the blood from earlier.

But his hands were stroking over her skin now and she could think of little else. Electricity. Chakra. Zinging through her body at his touch. Making her knees so weak that if he wasn't holding her against the wall she was sure she couldn't stand. Tsunade lost all thoughts of anything from earlier in the day, wanting only to be absorbed in what he was making her feel.

There was still offending cloth in the way. She yanked his tunic off him, and rested her hands on the cool angular planes of his chest before tracing them on down and scooting his hakima over his hips.

And he stood before her.

Tsunade's breath caught in her throat.

Silk and marble Orochimaru stood before her. Ebony hair and alabaster skin like some goddamned classic sculpture cut from living marble, alive and divine.

God he was beautiful!

She stroked one hand along his cool hard flesh, watching his eyes closed to half slits in enjoyment. Long, slender fingers gripped her hair tightly, white among the gold, urging her against him. His desire echoed her own, ratcheting hers up a notch, slow knot of tension coiling inside her.

With soft kisses she found herself tracing, trailing, learning and exploring him. He murmured softly something that sounded like 'good'. She found she wanted to learn everything about him, about his body. What would make him groan like that again? What would make him tangle his fingers tighter in her hair, gripping her to him? What would make Orochimaru want her so?

Hands against his back, imagining her own red lacquered nails splayed across his bare flesh, she slipped down to explore his most intimate self, scent of him in the air around her. Like the forest at night in summer, dark and deep and sensuous the scent of him filled her.

She felt him stiffen even more under her now more confident ministrations but what she wanted was... not yet. .

Tsunade smiled at the power he gave her over his own self. She rose kissing back up his chest to meet his mouth with her own, circling one hand firmly and making a tight grip, prolonging his desire. "Not yet," she whispered, teasing.

The sound he made this time was not entirely one of pleasure. Orochimaru's hands left her hair, lifting her under her arms. She started to stand and he pushed her back up to the wall.

Danger flickered behind his eyes and a thrill ran up her spine. "I can assure you, princess," he growled softly, "that you don't want to be playing any silly little anatomy games with me." He paused and smiled in a deliciously cold kind of way. "At least... not yet."

Turning her words around. A threat. Dangerous. But with a promise of delight. Coy smile still playing at the corners of his lips. Malevolence and mirth, he was seduction itself.

Take me now, make me scream, fuck me hard, make me yours, shrieked in her head.

Her own fingers had seemed clumsy and hurried as she'd tried to remove his clothes but his were deft and sure as they slid easily under her hakima, slim hands slipping beneath the waistband to slide them off her hips, pausing at the curve of her ass to pull her to him.

Her pants skittered down her legs, catching at her ankles. She fluttered them off as he lifted her, hands cupping her ass, turning so his thigh was between hers, pressing her own silken ones apart.

"Now, Oro-Orochimaru," she panted between his kisses. "Do it now," finally giving voice to the mantra that had been spiraling through her consciousness. Fever-pitched and delirious, she closed her eyes as he sheathed himself inside her. One quick motion and he was touching somewhere high and fine and deep within her.

It was everything she had imagined a moment earlier. She clung to him, one leg wrapped around his waist as he held her pinned against the wall. Long, sweeping strokes then thrusting deep to that sweet, sweet spot only to repeat the motion all over again.

Eyes closed, head thrown back, biting her lower lip she felt his teeth graze her neck, nipping at the tender flesh above her collar bone as he drove into her over and over.

Coiling tension, knotted, aching for release she gripped his hips desperately trying to hold him there to keep him there where she needed him to be...

But she felt him flex and harden, jerk straight up harsh and hard. Hoarse cry from his throat and the pulsing powerful rhythm was almost enough to push her over the precipice herself. Almost but...

"Not yet," she wanted to plead in protest but his lips were already against hers, covering hers, claiming her in another kiss. Tongue in her mouth once more, coaxing, tasting the sake and the impending tears. Trying to steady his breathing, still coming down from his own climax he nuzzled sweetly up along her cheekbones to where those tears pricked at the corners of her eyes.

Dammit. She ached for release. She needed oblivion. She needed to share it with him, to be consumed with him, pass through the fire and come out purified.

His fingers in her hair, he tucked golden strands behind one ear and kissed her there. Breath steadier he murmured, "I'm not finished with you. Not yet."

He carried her to the bed as she wrapped both legs around his slender waist. Depositing her on the bed she did whimper at the loss as he slipped from her.

Taking her hand from his shoulders she skated it down her body, intending to seek her own release. But Orochimaru caught her wrist and straightened her arm, pulling it over her head as he knelt above her on the bed. Taking her other arm he stretched it out too, manacling both her dainty wrists in one marble hand, pushing them back into the pillows above her head.

Tsunade lay stretched out beneath him as he looked at her in the deepening twilight of the room. She studied him herself, watching how his gaze traveled up and down her body, eyes glittering, drinking in the sight of her.

He gazed at her for some time, thrilling in its own way to simply have him watch her, observe her in that same deliberate, detached manner of a researcher with a curious specimen.

Tentatively she wriggled her wrists testing his hold but he only smiled in the low light and tightened his grip at her wrists. Lowering his head to her chest, silken strands of his hair brushing over her he took one tender bud in his mouth, rolling his tongue over it. She felt him smile as she squirmed beneath him. Felt the corners of his lips pull back, sucked in her breath hard as his tongue was replaced by teeth, sharp, nipping at her delicate flesh.

He moved his mouth to her other side. Briefly she felt the cool of the evening air as his warmth left the first and covered the second. But the fingers of his free hand pinched the first between thumb and forefinger. Pinched hard while he nipped at the other.

Too much. She was too sensitive and it almost hurt too much. Almost. In a good way. In a mindblowingly good way he was torturing her. Killing her with the pleasure from his lips and fingertips.

Tsunade's squirming turned to writhing, her heels scuffing uselessly against the sheets. He kept his attention focused, lipping, nipping, tugging, pinching. The ache inside her was unbearable now, downright painful and she craved relief from it.

Her thigh brushed against his him, harder than when they'd first lain on the bed, as hard as when he'd taken her against the wall.

"Please!"

"Not yet," damnable joke between the two of them now, she cursed herself for saying it in the first place.

"Please!"

For an answer his one hand left her, skimming down her body and brushing between her legs, fingertips dancing across her.

She cried out and bucked hard against him, her hands still pressed into the pillow by his own but her hips lifting up off the bed. She was so sensitive now it hurt to have him touch her like that.

He relented, turning his hand so it was his palm now against her, pushing, soothing steady pressure.

Orochimaru withdrew his hand, pressing her thighs apart as he settled between them. Tsunade expected the same quick thrust as last time but he just barely pressed against her, exquisite torture.

Arms still pinned she snaked her legs around his waist, soft little heels at the small of his back urging him forward. He complied but slowly, inch by delicious inch.

"Let me go," she whispered wriggling her fingers, "Let me hold you."

"No," he whispered back, "just feel...alive."

He finished sinking into her and then withdrew just as deliberately. Smooth, perfect, full strokes. Delicious. Endless. Awash in the pleasure of his motion.

Hot breath at her shoulder, kissing, asking, "How does this feel?"

"Good," she gasped for an answer.

He changed his rhythm now, more side to side, plundering her. "And this?"

"Yesss," she hissed through gritted teeth.

Increasing the pace, he was rougher, greedier. "This?"

Tsunade couldn't answer, she simply moaned her reply. She thrust her hips under him, rolling them, matching his quickening rhythm.

He released her hands then and they flew almost of their own accord to clutch his hips, greedy themselves to hold him tight against her.

Orochimaru raised himself up on one arm and snaked the other hand to the small of her back raising her body to meet his own.

It was the simple possessiveness of this act that sent something tripping over in her head, freeing her, giving her permission to let go.

She was nothing.

But his.

Tsunade cried out, rough and ragged as she felt her release begin low in her belly carrying them both over the edge of sanity this time. When Orochimaru joined her, it prolonged her own oblivion, every pulse caused an echoing vibration through her body.

This time it was both of them who needed to steady their breathing.

Orochimaru started to shift off of her, but the simple movement caused aftershocks of pleasure to ripple through her body. Mouth forming a tiny 'o' of satisfaction, Tsunade closed her eyes as it played out. Bemused, Orochimaru stirred again, just to watch her face.

With a sigh of satisfaction of his own he rolled off her, onto his back, pulling her limp body to his so that her blond head now rested on his chest. Tsunade closed her eyes, her head rising and falling in time with his steady breathing. With one hand Orochimaru's fingers toyed lazily through her golden hair while the other he draped across her waist.

And two of the three legendary sannin fell asleep in each other's arms.

Later, Tsunade opened her eyes to slits in the darkness. Waiting a moment to give them time to adjust she sat up in the bed and looked down at her sleeping teammate. How many nights had they spent together over the years? And yet...never like this.

Avoiding the inevitable decisions she knew she would have to deal with in the morning she got out of bed and padded silently to the window. Peering into the darkness she saw that the clouds had rolled back in. Weak moonlight tried to pierce the thickening cover but was gradually failing as bank upon bank of heavier clouds scudded in front of it. The rain would start up again soon. By tomorrow morning the landscape would be drenched.

Directing her attention away from the window she studied the dark-haired young man sleeping peacefully in the faltering moonlight. She wondered if any one else on the planet had ever seen Orochimaru that much at ease before. Probably not. Tsunade reached down to the floor and retrieved what she thought was her tunic. When she tugged it onto her shoulders she realized it was far too large, the sleeves dropped down over her hands.

But the silk felt soft and smooth and the scent was Orochimaru's. Smiling faintly she pushed the sleeves up and knotted the sash loosely about her waist. Then she went to the adjoining bathroom to take a shower.

The water was tepid and the pressure low but Tsunade still spent a long time in there just allowing it to sluice over her body, washing all her sins away.

Turning the water off and toweling herself dry she saw the tunic laying there. Realization stabbed at her.

God.

What had they done?

Shrugging into the pale silk like a bathrobe she opened the door a crack and saw that the bedroom was no longer in darkness. Orochimaru had slipped back into his own black pants and was reclining on the bed, one knee propped up, one of the by-now infamous scrolls unfurled across his lap.

The blond Senju heiress now took her own opportunity to study him. Toned chest and well muscled arms, black hair back over one shoulder but hanging forward over the other as he leaned toward the scroll. She caught a glint of silver from his earring as he reached and tucked the falling strands back in place.

Suddenly overcome by the enormity of the change in the nature of their relationship Tsunade grew bashful, unable to even think about how to approach him now. Dan was the only other man she'd ever been with and Dan was...Dan. Orochimaru's word echoed in her mind, Dan was safe. Jiraiya resented but tolerated him, Orochimaru treated him with disdain. And now she understood precisely what Orochimaru had meant by that term safe. Dan was safe. Tame as a gelded pony.

"Tsunade-chan, you turned off the water quite some time ago," Orochimaru murmured without looking up from the scroll. "I should think you would be dry by now."

Half-shrugging and shy she stepped forward from the doorway of the bathroom. Orochimaru turned to look at her.

"Well," he continued softly as he lay the scroll aside, "I can see my written works aren't the only things you've developed the habit of taking from me."

Tsunade padded across the room and knelt on the bed beside him, one hand on the mattress, leaning toward him. "Sorry. In the dark I thought I'd picked up mine," she said unable to think of anything else.

Their eyes locked again, Orochimaru reached for her, one cool hand closing over the wrist of the arm she was bracing herself on. Tsunade ached to kiss him, for him to kiss her. But there was hesitation on both their parts. A kiss now would purely be based on want, not need.

"I don't mind," he whispered, one slender finger tracing her jawline to her chin. He trailed the finger across her throat, dipping on down her chest where his tunic hung open and loose on her body. "As a matter of fact, I think it suits you."

Orochimaru shifted slightly beneath her, pulling her to him. The hand at her breasts was now back at one shoulder, slipping the cool silk off as he pulled her down to him. Butterflies danced in her stomach in a ridiculous school-girl kind of way. It was not like they hadn't just been together, she thought to herself, it's just that this would be...different.

She closed her eyes and tilted her head down to kiss him as he reclined against the pillow. And now it was her own golden tresses that fell forward, tickling across his shoulder when...

"Hey, Tsunade!" her name rang out boisterously as the door to the bungalow slammed open. "Hadn't seen you in a couple of days and I saw your light on and..."

Tsunade's head whipped around, yellow hair fanning around her shoulders.

Jiraiya stood in the doorway.


	3. Three

**Three**

Time dilated for Tsunade, spinning and pulling her down like a whirlpool.

_Not now._

_Not now._

_Not now!_

Jiraiya stood frozen in front of them, door banging back and forth in the wind from the storm brewing outside.

"Jiraiya, I...," throat constricted, hurting once again to speak. Tsunade stared at him open mouthed as he stood there, eyes blazing with jealousy at the scene in front of him. "Jiraiya, we...," she whispered. Then no more words came.

_Jiraiya it's complicated. Jiraiya, we...Jiraiya, I...Jiraiya it just happened...Jiraiya, there's more to it...Please Jiraiya, don't just stand there looking at us like that...please not now...Oh, God why did you have to open the door...Jiraiya... I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm..._

Her brain wasn't working, a million words but she couldn't even remember how to voice any of them. They were turning over in her head. It felt as if her mouth were moving but no sound was coming out.

Orochimaru's hand closed slightly around her wrist as he shifted up to a half-sitting position, leaning back on his elbows. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, almost as if they were caught in a syrup-time jutsu. Tsunade felt like she hovered above it all somewhere outside her body watching the three of them, characters in some tragedy playing out on a stage.

The storm building outside was nothing compared to the one building inside the room between the sannin. Tsunade might have been unable to give voice to any thought in her head at the moment but Orochimaru was not suffering from that same mutism.

"Well, now, Jiraiya, you pervert, did you finally stumble upon something worth spying on?" Orochimaru said, sing-song, lilting, little-boy taunting voice. Eternal rivals.

Jiraiya's eyes went from blazing to flat, black, murderous fury.

Fists clenched at his side, Jiraiya trembled in his rage. But it still wasn't enough for Orochimaru.

The next part happened so fast. Tsunade felt she must have known it was going to happen even before it did. Perhaps she did. Perhaps it was inevitable.

"So...," as the verbal jab left his lips, Tsunade knew Orochimaru was pushing Jiraiya past the tipping point. Knew that he set out to do it on purpose, felt his legs shift beneath her on the bed as he readied his own body to react. "...do you like what you see?"

Tsunade prayed to any god that would listen and for the first time in her life she was faster than Orochimaru.

She leapt between the two of them as they came at each other, the flat of her outstretched left palm catching Orochimaru squarely in the chest as he rose to meet Jiraiya's charge, knocking him sprawling onto the floor. She caught Jiraiya's upraised arm, stopping his blow toward their fallen teammate in midswing with such force that she would have broken a lesser man's arm.

"Stop it!" she yelled without thinking, surprised to finally hear the sound of her own voice. Orochimaru started to rise and she pointed a trembling finger at him. "Don't," she hissed glaring into his golden eyes.

"How...could you?" Jiraiya's voice broke the stillness, plaintive and yet seething with barely contained rage at the same time.

She jerked her attention back to him as he shook his arm free of her grasp. The anguish on his face was plain to see. She was forced to confront the feelings she'd known he held for her all these years. Known and pretended not to know.

"How could you?" He repeated, raising his voice and slamming his fist against the desk, cracking the inlaid wooden top in the process, then turning and slamming the door closed for good measure.

"Jiraiya, I..." she faltered once more than stopped short. His attention was laser focused on Orochimaru. The question had never been directed at her. She looked back at her other teammate. Orochimaru had managed to ease himself up from the floor and was now sitting in the chair against the wall near where she'd flung him a moment ago.

Jiraiya paced in a small circle, like a wild animal in a cage then whirled once more to face his teammates. "How could you fuck the girl you knew I loved, Oro? You knew!" He punched the desk once more which couldn't withstand the blow this time and Tsunade winced as it cracked in two from the force scattering the remaining scrolls and spilling the rest of her liquor on the floor.

And Tsunade began to understand. Dan had never been an issue, not really, for Jiraiya. He considered him her dalliance, no more. Whomever she slept with Jiraiya would consider as nothing more to her than any girl he himself picked up in a bar, a pleasant diversion. But Orochimaru...it wasn't that she had slept with Orochimaru, it was that Orochimaru had betrayed his trust.

Orochimaru sat still as a marble statue in the chair and she wondered where the taunting little-boy rival of earlier had gone. It had been replaced and now there was a new look in his eyes, one she hadn't seen there before.

Fear.

Was he afraid of Jiraiya?

But that didn't make sense. Orochimaru had always been able to beat Jiraiya in a fight. Why would he be afraid now?

Unless...

"Answer me, damn you! What was it like for you to fuck the girl you knew I loved!" Jiraiya demanded but Orochimaru remained silent. "Son of a bitch!" Jiraiya muttered and headed for the door. Tsunade saw Orochimaru's knuckles turn whiter still as he gripped the arms of the chair.

With shattering clarity she saw it then. The thing Orochimaru feared the most was that Jiraiya would leave them. The taunting earlier - it was as if he were saying look at me, now, Jiraiya, pay attention to me! Not to gloat but...

Oh, god.

Do you see me now? he'd been pleading in his own obtuse, arrogant way.

She needed him, he needed Jiraiya, and Jiraiya needed her. Eternal golden braid. And if Jiraiya left, for his stupid orphans or because of her or for any reason at all they would each of them be broken beyond repair.

"Stay," she rasped out in a hoarse whisper as the white-haired sannin's hand reached for the door. "Jiraiya...stay...with us."

He paused with his hand still on the doorknob and turned to face them. No sound from him for the longest time while the wind lashed the trees outside and the rain started down in torrents. He looked from one to the other of his teammates and then finally scoffed, "Why the hell would I do that?"

"Because...," she answered in a shaky voice but held her gaze steady, locked with Orochimaru. Then she turned and focused on Jiraiya. Tsunade licked her dry lips and said the words the three of them had never dared speak out loud. "Because you look at me the way he looks at you."

The silence from him was profound, only the storm outside echoed the emotional turbulence that she was feeling, that they were all feeling. Finally Jiraiya spoke with a self-deprecating laugh. "You want me to stay after you two..."

He didn't get to finish his sentence. Orochimaru interrupted him with a single word plea, "Stay."

Jiriaya's eyes narrowed to slts. Something still seethed beneath the surface and Tsunade had a sick feeling that it was hate. Perhaps not hate of them but hate of what they had done.

The tension between the three was palpable. Orochimaru still sat in his chair and Tsunade remained standing between her two friends. Everything turned on Jiraiya's response.

"You want me to stay?" he spoke softly. Tsunade swallowed hard, never in all the years she had known the two of them had she heard a veiled threat more menacing, not even from Orochimaru himself. "All right," the toad sage continued as he unshouldered his scroll and leaned it against the wall. "But you still haven't answered my question, Oro. What was it like to fuck the girl I love? Or why don't you...show me?"

Tsunade's heart beat a staccato rhythm in her chest as she looked at the man she'd just been with earlier in the evening. Orochimaru fumed in his chair and spat back, "Jiraiya, I'm not going to..."

"Show me!" Jiraiya roared and Tsunade felt his hand descend on her at the back of her neck, pushing her forward and down on her knees in front of Orochimaru where he was seated. She caught herself, hands on his thighs or else she would have slammed bodily into him.

"You both know me," Jiraiya whispered between the two of them, his fingers circled around the white column of her throat. "I like to...watch."

"Jiraiya, I won't," Orochimaru protested, grabbing the larger man's wrist to pull him away from Tsunade. Enraged, Jiraiya encircled the slender white arm and wrenched it away with his free hand, tightening his grip on Tsunade's throat at the same time, feeling her swallow hard.

He held Orochimaru's arm up, forcing the hand back with his thumb so that it was bent at an odd angle. "I'll break it," he whispered. "I'll snap your wrist in two. Then again, you'd probably like that wouldn't you?"

He put his lips against Tsunade's ear, easing his grip on her throat just a little so that she could breathe better. He purred into her ear, deep bass voice thrilling her to her core, "Did you know that, princess? You both know I like to watch, but did you know Oro here likes it a little bit rough?" He pushed his thumb forward, increasing the stress on the wrist and Orochimaru winced in front of her. "Oh, yes, he plays hard from what I hear. Only problem is, he likes it a little too rough. Has a hard time finding playmates who aren't so fragile. Or worse yet, ones who aren't so afraid of him that they'll actually give him what he wants."

Tsunade sucked in air as Jiraiya released her. The larger man then rose, whipping Orochimaru's arm around behind his back so suddenly and sharply that he cried out as Jiraiya pushed him forward toward her. This time it was Orochimaru's ear that he rumbled against. "Look at you, Oro, you've got the most beautiful woman in the Five Great Nations on her knees in front of you, you lucky son of a bitch. And the best part for you?" He pulled up harder on the arm nearly dislocating the shoulder and chuckled. "I can break every bone in your body and she can knit you back together again and you're getting hard just thinking about it." He confirmed that last statement by grabbing one of Tsunade's hands with his free one and forcing it up Orochimaru's thigh. "Now, like I said...I'll stay...if you show me." He then released them both.

"Tsunade, I..." Orochimaru whispered, reaching to touch her face, stroking one thumb across her cheek as he cupped her chin in his hand.

"Just...kiss me and he stays," she husked back then took his own face in her hands, angled planes of his cheeks cool to her palms as she pressed her own lips against his before he could say anything else. Just kiss me and don't think...just kiss me and he stays...you stay...we stay...together...

She was as desperate as Orochimaru was that the three of them should remain together.

She circled her arms about him, drawing herself against his body as she knelt between his knees. Orochimaru hesitated at first then responded by slipping his arms around her waist, pulling her to him and returning her kiss softly. There was a tenderness there that he hadn't shown before and she wondered if it was due to Jiraiya's presence or if this would have been the way he made love to her again anyway.

And Tsunade realized it didn't matter. What mattered now was that they were together. The three of them. Tonight. And forever. She could fix this. Patch them up. Make them whole.

Larger hands then cupped her shoulders, she could feel the straps from Jiraiay's hand protectors as he gently pulled her back away from Orochimaru's embrace. "Very nice," he rasped in her ear and she thrilled at the effect his deep voice continued to have on her body. "Very nice," he repeated as those same large strong hands undid the sash at her waist and finished pulling the tunic down, slipping it off her shoulders to her waist leaving her naked between the two of them. "You're beautiful." Then added, "You're both so goddamned beautiful."

Jiriaya's chin was at her shoulder as he spoke but his words were directed at Orochimaru. "Is this what you wanted, Oro?" He lifted her chin up so that she was looking directly into Orochimaru's eyes. Jiraiya trailed his fingers down her throat across her chest before dipping down lower still to fondle her. Orochimaru's eyes glittered darkly and she could practically feel his gaze on her the same way she could feel Jiraiya's fingers where they were.

"Or is it this?" Jiraiya's hands left her and grasped Orochimaru's face, pulling him forward, covering his mouth with his own, consuming him with his kiss. Jiraiya brushed Tsunade from between the two of them and stood over Orochimaru, forcing his head back, dominating him. Jiraiya was the one who broke the kiss but still kept his face near his teammates.

"Say it!" he ordered Orochimaru. "Say that you want me to stay."

Orochimaru gripped the arms of the chair tighter again for a moment then relented in a soft voice, beaten, "Stay." He hesitated and looked up at his best friend. "I want you to stay, Jiraiya."

Satisfied, the white-haired sannin stood briskly drawing Tsunade to a standing position with him. "Don't move," he instructed Orochimaru, "not even a muscle. And don't touch yourself," he growled, reaching to palm Orochimaru through the black fabric of his pants. "This is mine."

Jiraiya turned to face Tsunade and held her at arms length just looking at her. His entire demeanor changed. Unclothed though she was she hadn't felt naked until now. Naked and ashamed. She wanted to wither under his gaze, couldn't even meet his eyes. He wasn't studying her with curious wonder like Orochimaru had earlier, he was looking at her like merchandise. His gaze stripped her bare in a way the mere lack of clothes did not. Tsunade felt like a whore.

She choked back a sob and her head drooped, blond tresses falling forward over her shoulders. Not like this. Thoughts of repair to any damage done between them retreated in her mind.

"What's the matter, honey? Scared?"

Tsunade cringed when she heard the words, not from fear but from despair. 'Honey', not her name, just some generic term men used to reference women. as if they were interchangeable. How many whores on how many nights had he called other girls by her name but tonight he wouldn't even say it."

"Jiraiya, not like this...please, " came her breathy request.

"Oh, really honey? How would you like it then?"

"Say my name," she whispered.

"Which one?" He snapped back wounded and without thinking. "Goddess? Lover? Bitch?"

Tsunade saw Orochimaru's knuckles whiten on the arms of the chair again and shook her head no. It was endearing in its own way that he would defend her honor in this disaster among the three of them of their own making.

Emboldened by Orochimaru's concern she took the offensive with Jiraiya. All kunoichi used their sex as a weapon and she knew Jiraiya, more than most, was susceptible. "Jiraiya, say my name," she husked as she stepped into his embrace and drew herself up against his body, "and love me." Tsunade kissed him the way Orochimaru had kissed her earlier. Wanting nothing more or less than his kiss. Nothing mattered except his lips against hers, his hands so large they cinched around her waist, completely encircling her. her fingers tangling in the rough white swirl of his hair. She pressed her body against the full length of his swaying into him, wanting to be as close as possible to him.

She could feel the heat from his body, from his hands. Where Orochimaru had been cool and his touch electric, Jiraiya's body was a flame against hers. She felt singed where his hands touched the naked skin of her back, her waist, sliding down her and gripping her against his swelling hardness. His hands slid over her nakedness but his touch wasn't the liquid smoothness of Orochimaru's. Jiraiya's palms were rough, the straps of the protectors even rougher.

As his hands roamed over her body, claiming every inch of her as his own his demeanor changed. His kiss became as unreserved as hers, hungry and desperate to have the one thing he had always wanted in his grasp. Her.

Almost as if he were afraid if he stopped touching her he'd never hold her again, each hand left her only once, so he could slip those protectors off. But he never let her go, not totally, hands rugged and greedy across her body, his mouth crushed against hers.

Her own hands were busy as well, pushing off his vest and then his shirt, skating across the broad expanse of his chest down to his tapered waist. Muscles rippled beneath her inquisitive palms, rock hard and solid. And hot. The man was on fire, an unquenchable fire for her.

But his chest wasn't unbroken alabaster like Orochimaru's had been. Beneath her sensitive healer's hands she felt scars, old and new, shiny and raised, from enemies and even friends where he'd failed at training sessions. And Tsunade remembered how easily she could have healed those scars smoothing them over but he'd always jerked away as soon as she'd finished applying the minimum healing jutsu he felt he could get away with.

He'd always had something to prove. To show that he could take it. No matter what anybody thought of him he had to show he could shake it off and walk away. And his scars were proof of that.

She felt his enormous biceps tighten as he slipped one arm behind her legs and the other behind her back, scooping her up bridal style to carry her to the bed. Jiraiya lowered her there and she lay looking up at him. Her breath caught in her throat. Where Orochimaru's physique had been unblemished and divine, Jiraiya hovered above her beautiful and scarred and human. Each nick in his flesh had been earned and he wore the scars as badges.

He captured her mouth again and this time his kiss was full and sweet like wine and just as intoxicating. She sighed into him. Her fingers danced back down his chest and belly, she felt him quiver as they traced along the waistband of his pants, dipping inside, scooting them down over his hips. Kicking them off he joined her on the bed, one leg between her thighs.

Hand between her thighs he searched out her most secret parts. Somewhere in the back of her mind it occurred to her that Orochimaru was still watching. Did he find her and Jiraiya as beautiful as Jiraiya had referred to them earlier. Did Orochimaru find his two teammates so goddamned beautiful?

Jiraiya shifted forward then and settled between her silken legs. Her hands at his buttocks urged him forward and in one deliberate thrust he was inside her, stretching her, filling her, forcing her body to accommodate his intrusion. She inhaled sharply and it took her a moment to adjust to his girth, her walls stretched but exquisitely so.

Her climb to climax began as soon as he began to move, her muscles quivering and tightening with each stroke. The pleasure became more persistent with each thrust, more demanding. Tsunade moaned beneath him, clutching his ribs, clinging to him before sanity was ripped from her. Climbing, climbing ever higher she was sure that each movement would be the one to send her over the edge, falling off into that mindless oblivion. She was sure the pleasure couldn't climb any higher, wind any tighter but it did, tendrils of sensation coiling up tight in her belly and between her legs, tightening up her body and her mind, making it difficult for her to breathe.

"Come for me," he rasped into her ear, arching his back and pushing deeper into her. So close, she was so close and each sweet blow of him against her almost released the coiled up energy inside her. His hand sought hers and he twined his fingers with her own smaller ones. His rhythm was rougher now, more ragged and desperately seeking. His face beside hers and she could see the tendons straining at his neck.

And his words kissed her, "Come for me...Tsunade."

Voice harsh and tender at the same time and she shattered when he said her name.

With a gulp and a sob she cried out letting her release wash over her. Like waves. Like rain. Like wind, rushing through treetops and fluttering the leaves. Rippling up and out. The pleasure so rich it made her moan and sob, her head thrown back. Sensory overload. Too much, too beautiful. And Jiraiya squeezed her hand, his body stiffened, jerking up to meet her, hitting something primitive and tender inside her, prolonging her own bliss.

After the force of it he still moved within her but gentle strokes, softer, less frantic. Each creating its own peak of pleasure, rippling through her and tapering off.

Coming down now, she was limp and weak as a kitten, Jiraiya's weight a pleasant burden above her. His ragged breathing deepened as he steadied himself. He started to shift off her but she whimpered, pressing against him with her legs to hold him there, too weak even to raise her hand to stop him.

A couple more breaths, steadier this time and she did manage to raise one hand, curve it around his neck and pull his face to hers, blindly seeking another kiss. He shifted off her pulling her to his side. Boneless and content she lay in his arms as he kissed the top of her head, murmuring her name and then added just as softly Orochimaru's.

She felt the bed give slightly under the slender man's weight as he joined them. His midnight hair brushed against her shoulder as he leaned over to press his lips against Jiraiya's. Deft fingers tangled in the snow white hair. Tsunade slid aside, propping herself up on one elbow to marvel at the two of them.

Is this what it had been like for Orochimaru to watch them? Voyeurism but with permission of the observed?

Orochimaru certainly knew how to pleasure the other man, but Jiraiya didn't seem to be at all phased that his partner was now male. Idly Tsunade wondered how many other men the white-haired member of their team had taken as lovers. For all his professed devotion to the female sex he certainly seemed...comfortable with Orochimaru's attentions.

The snake sannin's tongue flicked out and he ran his palm across it coating it with his saliva then gripping the Jiriaya's returning desire. Languidly pumping he dipped his head to Jiriaya's chest paying the same attention to his as he had to Tsunade's earlier. Jiraiya grunted in pleasure. Then stretching his body along the length of his partner's they lay together,

Tsunade found it mesmerizing the slippery smooth movement of her two teammates making love. Afterwards when they lay shipwrecked entwined with each other she kissed them both. And somehow in the night she found herself between them, heat from Jiraiya's chest against her own, with Orochimaru's porcelain body against her back. The two men kissed across her shoulders, Oro's silky hair tickling down her back. And what Tsunade would always remember was that Orochimaru's hands were cool and Jiriaiya's breath was hot.

Later, as she lay nestled between them she drifted off to sleep, secure and comfortable for the first time at having admitted to herself that she'd found her right place in the world. Orochimaru's breath was soft and even behind her.

What she couldn't see as Jiraiya faced away from her on the bed was that he was lying in the darkness eyes wide open.

Tsunade awoke to the steady sound of rain outside. The storm had abated and now the weather had returned to simply the relentless drenching showers that she'd found so oppressive throughout her stay in Amegekure. She stirred slightly under the sheet, feeling Orochimaru's legs still spooned up behind hers, his arm draped casually across her waist.

Opening her eyes to slits she looked for Jiraiya but that side of the bed was empty. Curious, she raised her head and looked around the room in the weak light of the grey-cloaked dawn. Where was he? No sound of the shower running, it was puzzling.

Casting her gaze around the room she noted that his scrolls were no longer propped against the walls. She yawned and stretched, feeling Orochimaru stir beside her. Tsunade held off calling for Jiraiya as she didn't want to wake her other teammate.

Brow furrowed she was still searching the room for any sign of his presence from last night. He seemed to have completely disappeared. Jiraiya was probably the only person on earth who could have slipped past both her and Orochimaru undetected. At last she happened to notice something on the bedside table. It took her a moment to grasp the significance but when she did it made her blood run cold.

'Son of a bitch!" she hissed then added louder stll, "Jiraiya! You son of a bitch!"

Orochimaru's eyes snapped open and he raised his head looking at his disheveled partner in the morning light. "Tsunade? Tsunade what is it?"

"Look!" she ordered, her feet hitting the floor as she snatched up articles of clothing haphazardly jerking them on. "That bastard. I'll kill him...I'll..."

Orochimaru looked in the direction her finger was pointing. At first he didn't comprehend the meaning behind it and the door was already slamming shut behind Tsunade as she dashed out into the rain when realization began to set in.

There, on the nightside table, Jiraiya had left two neat stacks of bills, the price of two whores in Amegekure.

And now he was gone.

Gone.

He'd feared he'd seen it in the man's eyes last night when he first came in the door and now he knew that it was true.

Something had broken between the three teammates when Jiraiya had caught him and Tsunade in flagrante. And all the wishing in the world that they may care to indulge in wouldn't change that. Their one night together had been just a dream prolonging the inevitable.

Whether or not Jiraiya remained in Ame or returned to the Leaf was immaterial. To them he was lost.

Something quavered inside of Orochimaru. With Jiraiya gone why was it that he was the one who suddenly felt adrift?

Quickly donning his own clothes he hurried to catch Tsunade before she did some damn fool thing to Amegekure itself confronting Jiraiya in her hurt and rage. The last thing he needed was her destroying the place while they were in the midst of rebuilding it.

And as long as could keep her from making a bad situation worse there was some chance that given time...

Bullshit.

He'd seen Jiraiya's eyes.

Jiraiya was gone and things would never be the same between them again.

He sloshed through puddles, water sheeting down around him soaking him to the bone. He heard her voice up ahead, recognized it above the drizzle as she frantically called Jiraiya's name over and over.

"Jiraiya! Jiraiya! Where the hell are you!" she bent over in the rain sobbing, her tears joining with the drops in the puddle below. She was on a slight crest of a hill a short distance in front of him. Shaking his head, swiping long dark locks out of his face he trudged up the hill toward her. As he approached a small genin darted out calling to her.

"Lady Tsunade! Lady Tsunade! We need you!" the child called out running up to her.

Completely infuriated to be troubled by this gnat in front of her she whirled, intending smash this annoyance out of her way when a marble hand intercepted the blow that likely would have destroyed the young shinobi. Orochimaru sidled close, still holding her wrist preventing her from striking anyone. And in his own pain and anger he whispered one barb too many. "For God's sake Tsunade, don't you think you've killed enough children this trip?"

Shock and pain and betrayal brought her up short. She glared at him and in a profound moment of symmetry he recognized the same look in her eyes he'd seen in Jiraiya's last night.

How could you?

She shook her hand free of his grasp with disgust and turned to the child cowering in the mud. It was a little black-haired girl with enormous eyes filled with red-ringed irises. Those red-ringed irises were accompanied by red-rimmed lids where the girl had been crying.

"Well?" Tsunade snapped.

Orochimaru knelt down and lifted the girl up from the mud, holding her by her shoulders to steady her. "What is it girl?" he asked and even though his voice wasn't exactly gentle he still addressed her in a softer tone than Tsunade.

"Oh, Lady Tsunade, something terrible has happened," the girl sobbed, unable to face the female sannin but looking down at the puddles at her feet.

Orochimaru gently lifted her chin, forcing her to at least look at him if not Tsunade. "Go on."

The girl gulped and nodded, finding strength by meeting his gaze, "Lady Tsunade must come to the front immediately. Fighting has broken out and something terrible has happened to Dan-sama."

The girl collapsed against him, trembling with sobs in the rain. After he managed to extricate himself from her sniffling embrace, Orochimaru stood, still keeping a steadying hand on her shoulder. He looked around for Tsunade but she was gone.

**The End**


End file.
